Phallic Alec
by IWriteNaked
Summary: Isabelle threw her head back in laughter as she drove away with all of his clothes in the passenger seat. It was her revenge, because he made her babysit Max on a Friday night so he could go on a secret date with Magnus. One shot!


**There is so much to be said, but I will start with this: I went to California to see my Parabatai. I have been back home for a matter of days, and I miss her so much. I can't wait to see you again, DeathCabForMari.**

 **Huge thanks to rippingbutterflywings for picking the line of dialogue to base this on, and the pairing. And of course for being the greatest beta and fixing me. And for joining our rule breaking gang of Parabataix3. I couldn't ask for better friends than the two of you, and also thanks for being the best researcher ever and finding the laptop that I will buy so I can start writing from it you are the best**

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"Isabelle, this is _so_ not funny!" Alec yelled at his little sister, while trying to cover his exposed manly bits.

Isabelle threw her head back in laughter as she drove away with all of his clothes in the passenger seat. It was her revenge, because he made her babysit Max on a Friday night so he could go on a secret date with Magnus.

"Fuck!" Alec exclaimed while he watched her drive away, leaving him naked on the street outside of their house. He thanked God that it was dark outside and none of the neighbors could see him as he ran across the driveway, up to the front door. Alec jiggled the handle, but it was locked, and his keys were _definitely_ in his pants pocket, which Isabelle mercilessly ripped from his body and left with, so...

He began to panic when no one answered the door after he rang the doorbell three times. Maybe no one was home? Alec tried to think of some kind of solution. The window? His bedroom was on the second floor, though. The only window on ground level that _might_ be open was...Jace's.

Alec mentally kicked himself for letting Isabelle lure him outside when he knew she was mad at him. Jace would kill Alec if he found out that he squeezed his naked ass through his window, but what other choice did he have? It was the only way to get back into the house.

He pushed his shaggy black hair away from his electric blue eyes and sighed. "Damn Isabelle." Alec stepped out onto the lawn and tiptoed around the house. It crossed his mind that he really didn't have to creep around his own yard, but then he reminded himself that he was stark naked and his parents may or may not have been sleeping upstairs. All he could do was praise Jesus that Jace went out with Clary.

The grass was damp beneath his feet, and the autumn air was a little bit nippy. Alec was definitely nipping, but that had to be the very least of his problems.

The naked walk from the front porch to Jace's window felt like the longest walk of Alec's life. "Please be open," he whispered. Alec reached out and shoved Jace's window sideways. It opened! "Oh, thank God!" he muttered as he hoisted himself up, easily climbing through the window and flopping straight into Jace's bed. He let out a sigh of relief when he found it was empty.

His relief was short-lived, however, because it was that exact moment that he heard footsteps approaching, iand the bedroom door flew open. The light switch was flicked on, and Jace stood dumbfounded in the doorway of his own bedroom. "Is there a reason you're naked in my bed?" Jace asked.

Alec's hands shot down to cover himself, and his cheeks turned a crimson shade. "I...um...it's not..." he stumbled to find words so that he could explain how he ended up in this situation, but Jace just stepped aside and gestured to the door.

"I don't even want to know what kind of weird shit you're doing. Get out."

Alec stood up, trying to keep himself covered. "It's not my fault," he tried.

Jace cocked one of his golden eyebrows at his best friend and motioned toward the door again. "I don't want an explanation from you while you're naked. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to wash your nudity off of my bedding."

Alec cursed Isabelle one last time as he made his way up to his bedroom. They say that you should dig two graves before you set out on the road to revenge—one for them, and one for you—but Alec didn't think there was anything wrong with revenge. The wrong has already been done; otherwise there would be no need to get even.


End file.
